Around Grounds, I have heard many of you common mortals discussing the subject of the honor referenda. It is an important and sophisticated piece of student legislation, with many complex tenets that I have no hope of properly explaining to you. I can however, as a time traveling humorist from the future, tell you what goes wrong if you agree to pass it.
It all began with the first biannual meeting. It dragged for hours, like some demented town hall meeting. It was open to the student body, and it was quickly filled with legions of students protesting their honor charges. The meeting dragged for days, for there was no time limit set and no procedures established. Classes were cancelled. The vestiges of student self governance collapsed. UVa, as we know it, was no more.
I wish I could say the troubles ended there. Truly I wish that this blemish on the legacy of UVA was stained with the tears of students weeping over grades rather than with the blood of the student body. For you see, the dreaded second referendum allowed all students to propose amendments and vote on them. Within months, every CIO’s members had honor immunity. Being in a club quickly became a way to be exempt from the laws. Then, UJC had the bright idea of proposing the power of a club to declare war. From there, it was practically genocide. The United States government had no choice but to send in the National Guard.
I come from the future, one of the few survivors, to warn you. Ignore all the arguments that everyone else has offered, on every level of douchiness. Ignore the things telling you a more accountable and open Honor System is a good idea. Focus on my words. If you pass this, people will die. Do what’s best for the future.
By Connor McLean, Staff Writer